5 lessons from my mentors in 2022

I’m a passionate tech product marketer who is drawn to leveling up and learning everyday. No achievement is done in silo, and I believe that I am the product of the unbelievable leaders I have had the chance to work for. The qualities they all have is empathy, humility and endless curiosity. Authentic passion that is contagious across all teams. In 2022, here’s a roster of lessons I learned from these mentors, that I am sharing more broadly with whoever cares to read this: 

1. You do not control the stimulus. You control your response.

   And between stimulus and response is your greatest freedom. This is a secret gift that life gives us -  use it wisely. Do not ever compromise your life's purpose by spending time reacting to various stimuli all day.
   

2. You do not get points to predict rain. You get points to build an arc.

Spend less time admiring the problem and more time thinking of a solution. Have a clear problem diagnosis and a solution derived from that diagnostic. Start with that problem-solution punch line. Lastly, have a bias towards action. A plan without stellar execution is useless

3. It is better to keep your mouth shut and let them think you are a fool than you open and confirm it.

As you move up in your career, the expectations will be that you have high precision and fidelity in both the problem statement and solution. Be sure you have one when you speak. Also, just because you get invited to a meeting, does not mean you are obligated to speak and “give your 2 cents” at every corner. I am constantly inspired by those who spend 98% of the time listening, and when they finally speak - it’s concise, impactful and thoughtful. I’m striving (and often struggling) to become like these mentors day by day. It always serves you to speak less and listen more.

4. It's not about the output, it’s about the outcome.

Make sure you truly understand the goals your team is working towards. By shifting a team’s focus to outcomes instead of output, we skip the BS and can’t ignore or hide the results with countless explanations and powerpoints of our accomplished task lists and achievements. We open ourselves up to real assessments of the impact of our work, connect better with our teams, allow oneself to drop the projects that arn’t producing outcomes, and have the opportunity to learn and grow together.

5. Start with asking “WHY are we doing what we are doing?”

Hyper growth tech is filled with people that “move fast and break things”, go after Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs), are data-driven, and set stretch OKRs focused on engagement and revenue. Something I’ve learned this year from a personal mentor is to repeatedly ask the question “why are we building this?” more than “what will make us more money?” or “what will get us funded?” As cheesy as it sounds: Be the change you want to see in the world. Start asking why.

1. “How is this feature going to help us achieve our vision?”

2. “To what end are we doing this product/feature?”

3. “Why is it that this metric is the most important to us? What others have we considered?”

4. “How does this metric help us understand how well we are achieving our vision?”

6. BONUS Lesson - Feedback is a gift

Because I am an over achiever, I had to give you one more ;) There can be no growth without feedback. According to author Sheila Heen, receiving feedback sits at the intersection of two basic human needs:

1. First is our drive to learn. Humans love learning, but learning about ourselves, especially honest and critical feedback, is not a pleasant experience. Why? The culprit is our second basic human need;

2. The second need is our longing for acceptance. We all want to be loved, cared for, respected and accepted for who we are. Candid feedback makes us feel like we are being rejected. We feel like we are not enough. It hurts our pride and wounds our ego.

The tug of war between these two basic human needs is why receiving feedback feels unpleasant. Learning to push past this unpleasantness is what my mentors do regularly.

As we move up the career ladder, the quality & quantity of feedback inevitably goes down. When we are in a position of power or leadership, people avoid giving honest feedback. We often get watered down feedback or even plain flattery. I see my mentors constantly push their peers & subordinates to give more candid feedback to increase their self awareness.

Below, I’ve included pictures of some of these amazing mentors and our highlights from 2022. It’s been a shaky year in tech and no one has felt good, safe or secure - no matter which side of the layoffs you were on. As we go into 2023, I wish for all your hearts to be filled with gratitude as you reflect upon your blessings and look forward to working with you all in the new year.